CurtPalme.com Home Theater Forum

digitalayon · Joined: 02 Mar 2009 Posts: 921

jeffslife · Joined: 17 Apr 2010 Posts: 4190 Location: ohio usa

Problem solved !

garyfritz · Joined: 08 Apr 2006 Posts: 12088 Location: Fort Collins, CO

Good for her! And good for both of you, Andy.

macgyver655 · Joined: 22 Aug 2007 Posts: 8508

macgyver655 · Joined: 22 Aug 2007 Posts: 8508

digitalayon · Joined: 02 Mar 2009 Posts: 921

Well the roof is needing a repair in a few spots. Some leaks are apparent. I am in the process of getting ready for a roof job in a few weeks. But this is not enough for her mother right now. New roofs are expensive. My mistake in all of this was when I said I have pulled all funds for the basement redo of the man cave. I have a projector and screen hanging from the ceiling joists in an unfinished area with a sectional sitting on painted concrete and a throw rug. But because I already had the acquired equipment, that was enough for her because it blows away her neighbors in terms of image quality.

digitalayon · Joined: 02 Mar 2009 Posts: 921

garyfritz · Joined: 08 Apr 2006 Posts: 12088 Location: Fort Collins, CO

Ah, gotcha! That should have been obvious I suppose, but we were talking about my ex's beads, and I never quite made the mental leap to somebody ELSE wearing the beads...... Embarassed

CasetheCorvetteman · Joined: 09 Nov 2008 Posts: 6326 Location: Australia

the big E · Joined: 20 Apr 2013 Posts: 1928 Location: speedwell Tn.

This is why I am still SINGLE

I had a girlfriend in high school and we argued most of the time(don't go there)

I have to ask who is the one who brings home the(most) money?

You or the wife(not going there with the in law)

Sheesh this is crazy

CasetheCorvetteman · Joined: 09 Nov 2008 Posts: 6326 Location: Australia

Who cares about who brings home what money, there are more important things to consider!!

If it doesnt work easy, then it doesnt work at all. You should never EVER have to work at a realationship. If you do, something is wrong.

jask · Joined: 17 Mar 2006 Posts: 10187 Location: kamloops BC

Andy congratulations and damn. YOU SUCK!! Glad the wife has your back but it might be good time to let the MIL know she is crossing a line..... It might make life easier in the future,No vv1 here but I do have a hot wife and an awesome MIL;)

garyfritz · Joined: 08 Apr 2006 Posts: 12088 Location: Fort Collins, CO

digitalayon · Joined: 02 Mar 2009 Posts: 921

CasetheCorvetteman · Joined: 09 Nov 2008 Posts: 6326 Location: Australia

Nope, in my opinion youre both totally incorrect, but you wanna work your arse off at a relationship then by all means, i'll sit here and relax Wink

In no way am i passing judgement on either of you for your choices, its up to you how you feel you should go about finding happiness.

Im very happy on my own, i love it and certainly making no effort to change it, i will never ever change for anyone, i will never ever compromise in a way i dont wish to for anyone, and i never ever expect anyone to do either of those things for me. People either take me exactly as i am as i do for them. You can label that with whatever you like, but im going to call it brilliant.

Ive been single for about 3 years now, and to be quite honest i think i am the happiest i have ever been in my life. I spent so many years "chasing happiness" until i woke up one day and figured being happy is not something you work at or chase, its a choice you make.

When a relationship is right, itll work easily with no effort required, otherwise why bother? Happiness is not something you work for, its a state of mind.

I have to ask though, WHY do you have to work hard at it? What makes you feel it SHOULD be hard work? What makes you think you cant have your cake and eat it too?

No one ive ever asked has been able to give me any sort of reasonable answer to those questions.

Final questions for this post while we're on the subject, what makes you think ive had too many one night stands Andy? Where do you feel i would be finding such opportunities sitting at home relaxing after work? Who has the right to judge anyone if they so desire a life of one night stands? I personally dont have any interest in them, but i am quite interested to hear your thoughts on why you feel ive had too many of them.

**Curt Palme** · Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2014 2:17 pm Post subject:

Case, I think I kinda took your approach for the longest time, and came up with the 18 month rule. Relationships worked for me for 18 months, then I either realized I wasn't working at the relationship, or too many times, she never put any effort in at all. Also, if it wasn't over in 18 months, it should have been.

I finally got my balls back/got some self esteem about 6 years ago, and while I still fell into many of my own shortcomings, I started dating far better quality women, rather than aiming for the bottom of the cesspool.

Every long term relationship requires work though.

garyfritz · Joined: 08 Apr 2006 Posts: 12088 Location: Fort Collins, CO

Like I said Case, if you don't work at your relationship you'll be single. In your case you prefer it that way and you're happy that way, and that's great! More power to ya and I envy you. I wish I was totally happy being single. It definitely has some huge advantages but it has some very big disadvantages too.

But for anyone who chooses to be in a relationship, who wants to STAY in that relationship, "no effort required" ain't gonna work. Two people living happily together isn't really a "natural" state that works without any effort. Two people are going to be DIFFERENT, with different tastes, priorities, preferences, habits. It takes cooperation and compromise, from BOTH sides. It takes consideration of the other person. It means you don't always get your way. Because if you insist on always getting your way, if you don't consider the other person's feelings, you won't be in a relationship for long.

Spanky Ham · Joined: 22 Mar 2006 Posts: 5643 Location: Comedy Central

So, what are the big disadvantages?

garyfritz · Joined: 08 Apr 2006 Posts: 12088 Location: Fort Collins, CO

The two biggest ones for me are:

Loneliness. I'm a social kinda guy. I loved sharing my life with someone I loved: doing things together, taking vacations together, sharing daily triumphs and setbacks. I hate being by myself all the time and the circle of friends I've built is only a weak partial fix.

Lack of physical intimacy. Sex is the obvious one. I'm not a pickup artist and I haven't gotten laid in 4 years. I don't want one-night stands anyway -- sex for me is an emotional connection as much as physical. And I crave loving touch almost like I need food. I get a lot of emotional sustenance from holding hands, hugging/touching as I walk by, cuddling on the couch, spooning in bed. Some people can feed that need with a pet, but that doesn't work for me. I need a woman.

Other people are different, and they might be happiest on their own. I love some aspects of being single but I hate other parts.

**Curt Palme** · Posted: Sat Aug 02, 2014 6:04 pm Post subject:

I was accused some time ago by more than one ex, that I never wanted to be alone, so I'd get into another relationship right after ending one. Last year, for the first time in a long time, I was alone for the better part of a year. I realized that they were right, I was filling voids (and other voids <grin>), as Gary said above.

Being alone definitely allowed me to concentrate on work, and improving minor other areas of my life.

Having said that though, I don't always agree with Gary's second point. How many guys bitch that the sex stops after marriage? My engagement a few years ago was a complete bait and switch. Ditto for a couple of other relationships. Gary, I was a complete introvert until in my late 20s. Didn't talk to anyone unless it was work related, and then it was only about work stuff. Once I came out of my shell, I overcompensated, and was a slut for most of my 30s. Smile

I still don't consider myself to have any game or to be a pickup artist, but getting a date/getting laid, if I was single, wouldn't be an issue. Listen to Tom Leykis on Thursdays at www.blowmeuptom.com, at 5 PM. He does a show all about getting laid, and while I'm too old to follow all of it, it sure worked for me in my 30s. His basic rules are solid, even though his show aims for an 18-25 crowd.

Right now I have a great woman, I'd think those that met her at Cliff's place would agree. Best ever, and that's not BS. It took, however, 50 years to find her. A good part of that was my own issues, but a lot of it was separating the wheat from the chaff, I'd say. If I look at all my married friends on Facebook, I'd say well under 50% are truly happy in their marriages. If I ever go down that road, I'll make damn sure I stay in that happy minority.

BTW, as a bit of an aside, I almost came back to my computer the next morning after I kinda dumped on Digital, as I felt bad for posting something pretty harsh. I was a bit surprised to see others do the same after my post, so I left it.